Go on and continue working there because that's probably the only place in society you can ever "make it". I do pity the good pple who have to continue to tolerate your incompetence.
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Friday 14 October 2011
Bad week
I've had a very very bad week. Found out abt some rumour-mongering at my former workplace. Some people have so much free time on their hands and started spreading stories about me. Nothing about my condition but some stuff abt my "unprofessional conduct with some ladies at workplace". For goodness sake, you all are making yourself a laughing stock because unknown to all these idiots, I am gay. Geddit? Male homosexual. No sexual interests in females. I can't explain this in any simpler words. So stupid these pple, think I'll play their stupid game. Obviously you all are 1) jealous of my accomplishments 2) upset with my popularity with the clients and 3) fearful of my guts to call a spade a spade.
Go on and continue working there because that's probably the only place in society you can ever "make it". I do pity the good pple who have to continue to tolerate your incompetence.
Go on and continue working there because that's probably the only place in society you can ever "make it". I do pity the good pple who have to continue to tolerate your incompetence.
Thursday 22 September 2011
Familiarity breeds contempt
The drawback of being together for so long is that one is always judged by the way things have been. Meaning that no matter how hard or much you've changed for the person or how much you try, you're "always like that". "You're always behaving like this to me, you always do this, you always do that".
It stabs you right there in your heart. And knowing that no matter how hard you try to change, you'll still be that unreasonable person in his eyes, turns my heart cold.
It stabs you right there in your heart. And knowing that no matter how hard you try to change, you'll still be that unreasonable person in his eyes, turns my heart cold.
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Sunday 18 September 2011
Report card
Got my first report card after starting meds and i'm very pleased with the results. VL was 45k, now it's only 214 copies/ml. Gonna push that down to less than 50 copies by next month! Cd4 had been hovering 14% for the past 8 yrs but now it hit a new high 16% even though absolute levels dipped slightly. Glad that lymphocyte overall level dropped which I remembered from sch to be a gd thing because high lymphocyte levels = infection present?
Verdict: atripla is very well tolerated and other than the slight rash of a wk plus, I did not really have any side effects. Not much drug interaction too though I had to stop taking nurofen as painkillers. But I think I don't need painkillers too because the oral ulcers that I used to break into easily have disappeared too.
One concern though, liver enzymes have increased by two fold. Doc says it's normal for the time being. Let's see how it goes. My spirits are up and my besties are supportive. Nowadays in clubs, they buy me coke other than alcohol and come to my rescue when i'm forced to drink by other friends who don't know. Can't do without my bffs. :)
Verdict: atripla is very well tolerated and other than the slight rash of a wk plus, I did not really have any side effects. Not much drug interaction too though I had to stop taking nurofen as painkillers. But I think I don't need painkillers too because the oral ulcers that I used to break into easily have disappeared too.
One concern though, liver enzymes have increased by two fold. Doc says it's normal for the time being. Let's see how it goes. My spirits are up and my besties are supportive. Nowadays in clubs, they buy me coke other than alcohol and come to my rescue when i'm forced to drink by other friends who don't know. Can't do without my bffs. :)
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Tuesday 13 September 2011
Day 30
Today marks the 30th day since I started meds. Looking back, I still wasn't certain if I made a right choice starting. My lifestyle changed, there were things I can't do now. But i'm quite sure once I get used to the regime, I'll start doing those activities again. As fate will have it, today wasn't a happy day for me either. Something happened and it got me thinking about whether I am happy.
But I also realised one thing. Happiness is a choice and in my situation, I better conscientiously make that choice to keep my spirits up till the day a viable cure is found.
But I also realised one thing. Happiness is a choice and in my situation, I better conscientiously make that choice to keep my spirits up till the day a viable cure is found.
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Monday 5 September 2011
Rashes gone!
Rashes gone about 3 days back. Only mild tingling remains.
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Monday 29 August 2011
Trust the folks
You know what they say about not eating seafood when you have rash? That they'll itch more? It's true. I'm freaking itching all over after eating crabs for dinner. Totally not worth it! My rash weren't even remotely itchy until today. Geez! It's almost 5am and i'm up whole night scratching. And this is after downing two Zyrtec. Argh!!
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Saturday 27 August 2011
Rash Day 3
Rash a lot better now after taking zyrtec yesterday. Just red spots with some raised rash on the back. Hope it'll go away soon.
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Thursday 25 August 2011
Day 12 Atripla Day 2 Rash
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Wednesday 24 August 2011
Day 11: Rashes!
This morning I woke up to some itchiness on my knee. I grudgingly looked at my knee in my sleep state and immedately woke up to a shock.
RASHES!
Right now, they're all over my body. Round red dots about 1-2mm across. All over. I remember my doctor say that it will almost certainly happen but just hang on in there. It should past in a few days. (How many is a few days?) Rashes are supposed to move from area to area too but right now, they are all over my body. Thankfully I'm quite tanned so the red dots are not that visible unless you take a second look. Last time I had hives I wanted to find a cave and live there forever.
My only fear is that it'll get worse. So much worse that I'll have to change meds. Fingers crossed.
RASHES!
Right now, they're all over my body. Round red dots about 1-2mm across. All over. I remember my doctor say that it will almost certainly happen but just hang on in there. It should past in a few days. (How many is a few days?) Rashes are supposed to move from area to area too but right now, they are all over my body. Thankfully I'm quite tanned so the red dots are not that visible unless you take a second look. Last time I had hives I wanted to find a cave and live there forever.
My only fear is that it'll get worse. So much worse that I'll have to change meds. Fingers crossed.
Friday 19 August 2011
Day 4
Side effects: Dry mouth, a little 'heatiness', dreams.
Had a dream last night and it's kinda still affecting me. Perhaps it concerns someone that I really feel a lot for. Sigh...
Had a dream last night and it's kinda still affecting me. Perhaps it concerns someone that I really feel a lot for. Sigh...
Tuesday 16 August 2011
Day 2 on Atripla (Strocin + Truvada)
Last night was the second night I was on Atripla combi. I'm actually on Stocrin (Sustiva) + Truvada, which is the same as Atripla. Woke up twice last night feeling super horny with a raging hardon and jerked off twice. I swear someone mixed some viagra in those meds.
Side effects: Dry mouth (which I countered with oral moisturiser), dreams (lesser now but nothing unlike those before meds), horniness (considered side effect because it affected my sleep). Giddiness in the morning but nothing really intolerable. My doc mentioned that the americans tend to complain over the slightest stuff and I am starting to believe her. This combi is really quite well tolerable. @pozboysg on twitter mentioned about jaundice on truvada. I'm keeping my eyes open for any yellow-ness. :)
Actions: Taking more water today, I feel rather dehydrated, muscle mass looked shrunken which I attributed it to the loss of water. A lot leaner today. Water water water. Doc advised to drink milk also because of the Ca blocking side effects.
Side effects: Dry mouth (which I countered with oral moisturiser), dreams (lesser now but nothing unlike those before meds), horniness (considered side effect because it affected my sleep). Giddiness in the morning but nothing really intolerable. My doc mentioned that the americans tend to complain over the slightest stuff and I am starting to believe her. This combi is really quite well tolerable. @pozboysg on twitter mentioned about jaundice on truvada. I'm keeping my eyes open for any yellow-ness. :)
Actions: Taking more water today, I feel rather dehydrated, muscle mass looked shrunken which I attributed it to the loss of water. A lot leaner today. Water water water. Doc advised to drink milk also because of the Ca blocking side effects.
So this is it!
So this is it. After close to a decade of wondering when when and when, the time has come for me to start my meds.
Took this last night and was expected a hell lot of side effects but actually no. Other than weird dreams and a slight rash, nothing! Was dizzy the whole morning but got better after sometime. Mouth was dry and kept drinking lots of water today. I actually do feel happier. No more uncertainties. Hope this Atripla combination works and I can enjoy this new life that I have been given.
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