Bad week

I've had a very very bad week. Found out abt some rumour-mongering at my former workplace. Some people have so much free time on their hands and started spreading stories about me. Nothing about my condition but some stuff abt my "unprofessional conduct with some ladies at workplace". For goodness sake, you all are making yourself a laughing stock because unknown to all these idiots, I am gay. Geddit? Male homosexual. No sexual interests in females. I can't explain this in any simpler words. So stupid these pple, think I'll play their stupid game. Obviously you all are 1) jealous of my accomplishments 2) upset with my popularity with the clients and 3) fearful of my guts to call a spade a spade.

Go on and continue working there because that's probably the only place in society you can ever "make it". I do pity the good pple who have to continue to tolerate your incompetence.

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Familiarity breeds contempt

The drawback of being together for so long is that one is always judged by the way things have been. Meaning that no matter how hard or much you've changed for the person or how much you try, you're "always like that". "You're always behaving like this to me, you always do this, you always do that".

It stabs you right there in your heart. And knowing that no matter how hard you try to change, you'll still be that unreasonable person in his eyes, turns my heart cold.

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Report card

Got my first report card after starting meds and i'm very pleased with the results. VL was 45k, now it's only 214 copies/ml. Gonna push that down to less than 50 copies by next month! Cd4 had been hovering 14% for the past 8 yrs but now it hit a new high 16% even though absolute levels dipped slightly. Glad that lymphocyte overall level dropped which I remembered from sch to be a gd thing because high lymphocyte levels = infection present?

Verdict: atripla is very well tolerated and other than the slight rash of a wk plus, I did not really have any side effects. Not much drug interaction too though I had to stop taking nurofen as painkillers. But I think I don't need painkillers too because the oral ulcers that I used to break into easily have disappeared too.

One concern though, liver enzymes have increased by two fold. Doc says it's normal for the time being. Let's see how it goes. My spirits are up and my besties are supportive. Nowadays in clubs, they buy me coke other than alcohol and come to my rescue when i'm forced to drink by other friends who don't know. Can't do without my bffs. :)

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Day 30

Today marks the 30th day since I started meds. Looking back, I still wasn't certain if I made a right choice starting. My lifestyle changed, there were things I can't do now. But i'm quite sure once I get used to the regime, I'll start doing those activities again. As fate will have it, today wasn't a happy day for me either. Something happened and it got me thinking about whether I am happy.

But I also realised one thing. Happiness is a choice and in my situation, I better conscientiously make that choice to keep my spirits up till the day a viable cure is found.

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Rashes gone!

Rashes gone about 3 days back. Only mild tingling remains.

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Trust the folks

You know what they say about not eating seafood when you have rash? That they'll itch more? It's true. I'm freaking itching all over after eating crabs for dinner. Totally not worth it! My rash weren't even remotely itchy until today. Geez! It's almost 5am and i'm up whole night scratching. And this is after downing two Zyrtec. Argh!!

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Rash Day 3

Rash a lot better now after taking zyrtec yesterday. Just red spots with some raised rash on the back. Hope it'll go away soon.

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